Isao Kato: A nomad technical writer melts communication and technology in the Asian pot
This is an unsent letter to a person with whom I have shared my life for some time.
Our relationship was a…very dynamic one, to put it positively. We were both walking minefields looking for someone who would release our bombs, and we found each other. The good news was, not a single moment of boredom existed. The bad news was, not a single moment of boredom existed. We felt like we stripped off our skins and grinded our raw nerve systems into each other.
What particularly annoyed me was that you never compromised. Most people “mature” their expectations to dodge serious confrontations, sometimes by telling mild lies. You didn’t. I couldn’t keep up facing a person who was always filled with raw energy, who was not changing her behavior according to external expectations at all. I started avoiding you, which meant making excuses or sometimes not talking to each other at all. Our relationship naturally degraded.
Fast forward to the present day – now when I form a relationship, anything from casual conversation to serious one, I try to make them work by being sincere as much as I can. I don’t want to make the same mistake I made, which is to fake the relationship by avoiding facing each other.
Or am I trying to learn from the “mistake”? Being sincere to one another is, after all, about being “true.” In other words, I am constantly asking myself: “Am I presenting myself as I am?”
And that is exactly what you were doing when we were together. You were always you, no matter what.
After all, I have been learning from You, not “mistakes.” I probably do not copy your behavior on the surface level, but I do take your deeper intention and apply it as my everyday philosophy. You tried to teach me hundreds of things and I learned none (from your point of view), but this one, something you taught me unknowingly, I am taking it from my heart. It will stay with me for good, also unknowingly – until now.
I feel grateful for the time we shared because of this gift from you – we might be oceans apart in many aspects (and literally there is an ocean between you and me), but now I feel that the ocean might be warmer than I had thought.